


Don't Stop Looking In My Eyes

by carmenfoster14



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Choir Kids, F/F, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Projecting, Religion, Theatre Kids, band kids, ivy plays football, religious trauma, roundabout is jules' dad, section leaders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26828794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carmenfoster14/pseuds/carmenfoster14
Summary: It's Julia Argent's junior year of high school. She's finally free from her mother's household. She meets a pretty girl.
Relationships: Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep & Zack, Dash Haber/Zack, El Topo | Antonio & Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep, El Topo | Antonio/Le Chèvre | Jean-Paul, Ivy & Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep, Ivy & Player (Carmen Sandiego), Ivy & Zack (Carmen Sandiego), Julia "Jules" Argent & Ivy, Julia "Jules" Argent/Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep, Le Chèvre l Jean-Paul & Carmen Sandiego l Black Sheep, Paper Star/Tigress | Sheena, Player & Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep, Player & Zack (Carmen Sandiego)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 117





	1. First

_Julia_

My hands shook as I held up the scissors. I can't do this. I was cutting all ties to my mother, to my stepfather, to the church if I did it.

I picked my phone up off the counter. I punched in the numbers.

"H-hey Ivy?"

"Hey Jules, what's up?" the other girl asked attentively.

"Can-can you come over?" I need help with something," I asked. I heard the shake in my voice through the feedback.

"Yeah, for sure! Where in your house are you?"

"M-my bath-bathroom."

"Yeah, I'll be there soon."

"Thank you."

"No problem, Jules."

A few minutes later, I heard the door open.

"Hi, Ivy! We weren't expecting you," I heard my younger brother, Jason, greet passive-aggressively.

"Let her in, Jason," I call.

"Fine. Come on in."

Ivy found me where I said I was. I was rocking back and forth on the floor.

I expected her to be rough. I expected her to try and get me to stand up. I expected to get hurt.

She wasn't. She sat down next to me. She tilted my head up slightly to look at her. Her expression was soft and gentle. I felt safe.

"What'd you need help with?" she asked softly.

"C-can you cut- cut my hair?" I asked, choking back sobs.

"Oh honey," she said, standing up.

I thought she was saying no.

She extended a hand. 

"Of course I will."

* * *

First day of junior year. First time wearing pants to school. First day as a section leader in class.

As soon as I entered the school, my phone buzzed.

_Player: hey jules can u do me a favor_

_Jules: what is it?_

_Player: can u open the band outside doors for my friend? she's new and is lost lol_

_Jules: ofc my guy_

I made my way to the doors. When I saw her, my heart stopped. Her hair was perfectly curled and she wore an entirely red outfit. Had she not been so breathtaking, I'd have laughed. 

"Hi! I'm Julia. My friend Player asked me to let you in."

"Hi! That's an unequivocally Player thing to do. I'm Carmen. Your hair looks really pretty, by the way." She laughed.

I felt my entire body heat up. A goofy smile graced my lips.

"Thank you. Come on, I'll show you around. You got here pretty early."

* * *

First time at marching practice as a section leader.

When we ran our sets, I realized that Carmen was in band.

She was not only in band, oh no, but she was next to me in half of our sets.

Crap.

I had to not only deal with a pretty, smart, heartthrob in all my classes, but during band as well.

This year was a year of firsts after all.

Maybe this year could be my first time having a girlfriend.

When I told all this to Ivy, she laughed and shook her head.

"She obviously likes you. Look at how she's looking at you!"

I looked over. She was staring directly at me, a goofy grin and her head in her hands indicating that what Ivy had said was the truth.

I turned away and turned pink in the face.

"Maybe."


	2. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lesband  
> i don't play any of these instruments :)

_Julia_

"I hate the mellophone so much. Jesus Christ, I had to learn a whole new embouchure," Carmen complained.

"Oh wow. My... my dad bought me a separate flute for marching season my freshman year when I went to his house ad complained about my flute being too heavy. It was just a lighter version of the flute I already had," I laughed.

Carmen and I had become fast friends, and now we were sitting on my living room floor, eating popcorn.

"Should we order more fries?" Carmen asked.

"I think we have enough," I giggled, gesturing at the two Jack-in-the-Box bags full of curly fries around us.

"That's fair."

Something about her was so enticing... her hair, her smile, her voice, all of her. She was so... so perfect.

I cleared the thoughts from my head. Liking another girl was wrong and gross.

How could it be gross, though, if they're so pretty? If their lips look so soft? If she's the prettiest person you'll ever meet?

Hours sped by, and soon enough, we were almost about to steal some of my dad's wine.

She braided little strands of my hair, offering me a small sip of her wine.

I took it.

God, it was good.

I got lipstick on my face from the glass.

She took another sip.

I bit down on my lip nervously.

"Did you know the happiest place on earth isn't Disneyland?" she asked.

"Where is it then? Sweden?"

"It's wherever you are."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Um. Can I tell you something?" Her cheeks were flushed.

"Y-yeah."

"I like you. Like, like you."

"I- I like you too.." I trailed off.

"R-really?"

"Yeah. A lot."

We stared at each other with soft smiles for a second.

"Carmen?" I asked gently.

"Yeah?"

"C-can I kiss you?"

"Yes."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BAND PRACTICE BAND PRACTICE BAND PRACTICE

_Julia_

I fell asleep on the grass. I didn't notice until a certain mellophone player shook my shoulder.

"Jules, babe, wake up," she whispered.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Practice starts in like fifteen minutes, wake up."

I sat bolt upright and gasped, almost hitting Carmen in the head.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry babe oh no are you okay-"

"Jules, baby, I'm okay.

I said 'Oh my god.'

I said it.

A year ago, I'd have been beaten for that.

Now, I was free to say what I pleased.

"Jules? You good?"

"Hmm? Yeah. I'm fine.

"Okay. I'm gonna go get into fundamental block. See you after practice!"

"See you!" I waved, staring at her for a moment.

"You're whipped," I heard Zari tell me.

"Don't act like you aren't constantly staring at Jean-Paul. He's gay, Lydia. He's not into you."

* * *

I ran my sets.

I knew most of them.

One of them was by Carmen and my brain fried.

She showed me where to go.

"Thanks babe."

I was fine from there on out.

* * *

"I just voted but I forgot who I voted for," Tamara said, rushing over to where the flutes put our stuff.

"Tammy, how do you forget- nevermind."

She stuck out her tongue.

"Also, Jules, I don't like your girlfriend. She's too good at marching and it challenges me."

"Tamara, you need to stop being jealous because Julia is a good flirt and has good taste."

My phone rang.

"Hold on, I gotta take this."

"Hey Jules?" I hear my brother ask.

"What's up?"

"Can you drive us home after practice? Ivy took the car so Zack can't drive."

"Yeah, for sure. I'll drop you off so you can watch the J's while Carmen and I go get ice cream."

"Thank you so much!"

"No problem!"

"Hey Julia!" I hear Zack yell.

"Bye, _Dashie._ "

"What was that about?" Carmen asks, walking back to set 20 with me.

"We're taking my brother and his boyfriend home tonight. Ivy took Zack's car."

"Ah. Makes sense. See ya!"

I waved again.

We finished it off, did attention/dismiss, and Carmen and I walked to my car.

Something hung in the air that evening. It wasn't a good omen.

I glanced down at my phone. 

_jAmIsOn: MOM'S COMING BACK INTO TOWN_


	4. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> band gays plus theatre kid dash

_Julia_

"Okay, James, if mom comes home before I get there, don't say a WORD or I'll skin you alive while singing Shrike by Hozier."

"I know, Julia. I'm not self-destructive enough to out myself, much less you."

"Good."

"Wh-what's going on?" Carmen whispered.

"Oh, my mom's back in town," I hummed nonchalantly.

"I got that, but... what's so bad about her? Sorry I'm an orphan-"

"Oh, I forgot to explain. My mom had full custody of me and James when my dad was working with a big company. She got a new boyfriend and he was a Pentecostal Christian, meaning we were raised to be Pentecostal Christians. She's an absolute walnut. I'm gonna have to drop you off before I go home, unfortunately. I'll invite you over once she leaves, though!"

"That sucks."

"Zack, sweetheart, do you want me to drop you off at your place or are you staying over?"

"If it's okay with you, I'd be fine with staying over?"

"Of course!" James butts in.

We got to my house. There was an extra car in the driveway. A green SUV.

"Okay, James, get out of my car."

* * *

"BABE BABE BABE WHAT ICE CREAM DO YOU WANT?" I asked.

"Hmm... mint chocolate chip? If they don't have it then cookies and cream."

"OKAY LEMME ORDER IT AND THEN WE'LL GO TO THE PARK!!"

I ran up to the counter to order, coming back with two ice cream waffle cones.

"Let's go!"

We ate our ice cream.

The sun was warm and comforting.

The park was peaceful.

"How did the mint chocolate chip taste?" I ask.

"Oh, it was really good!"

I leaned in for a quick peck, asking with my eyebrows and giving her time to say no.

"Mmmm... you were right. It does taste good."

She went red in the cheeks, but laughed.

We got in the car.

I drove her to Player's house.

I drove home.

When I reached the door, my phone buzzed with a text from James.

"Run."


	5. I'm Not Sorry

_Julia_

I reread the message probably seven times before acknowledging it. 

I jumped back in my car and started to back out of the driveway when the door opened and my mother ran toward my car.

I cursed under my breath.

She saw me through the windshield.

I texted Carmen a quick 'I love you'. Just in case.

"Julia Lee Argent, what is wrong with you? Your hair was so beautiful and you chopped it all off! You are disobeying the word of God!" my mother screamed, narrowly avoiding denting my car.

"Mom-"

"And hanging out with boys? Unsupervised? What has gotten into you?"

"Mom-" I was cut off once again as I stepped out of my car.

"Come here. Come give your poor old mother a hug," she chided, grabbing me by the wrist and hugging me forcefully.

I looked over her shoulder at James and Zack, who gave me a look of pity.

"Lian, leave the girl be. She's had a long day," Roundabout said from behind me.

"Nigel, I haven't seen her in so many months!"

"Lian, you're going to hurt her. She's already worn out! She had band practice for hours!"

They went on like this, my mom's arms getting tighter around me with every word.

The last thing I heard before feeling a smack to the head was, "She's fine, see?"

* * *

"Julia, wake up," I heard James say soothingly.

I vaguely heard my parents shouting at each other and Jason calling the police.

I sat up and, seeing Jenna crying, picked her up. I was a little dizzy, but I brushed it off.

"Jules, lay down!"

"Why?" I asked.

"You got a concussion-"

"I'll be fine."

"Jules-"

"James."

"At least sit down for me. And call Carmen. Or at least Ivy."

I did. Carmen got to my house before the police.

I took my siblings, Zack, and Carmen inside as the cops showed up.

James fixed me an ice pack and sat me on the couch.

"Thank you for taking care of me," I whispered hoarsely.

"You owe me."


	6. Wednesday in a Cafe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is about something that i hope i can do someday: healing

_Julia_

I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked a mess of glasses, freckles, and stray bits of hair.

_"Your hair was so beautiful and you chopped it all off!"_

I pushed the thought of my mother out of my mind. 

Maybe someday, I can forget the past.

I stepped into the low kitten heels I'd started wearing. My mother would never have approved. I did, though. That's what matters.

I left my dad a note. James knew where I was going, but I wanted to make sure he didn't give me a bad cover story. I turned the lock and popped in a pair of tacky green earbuds that probably originated as Jason's or Jolie's.

Mom said she didn't get the song. I did.

"I'm sittin' on a bench in Coney Island..." I muttered.

I walked into the Starbucks, expecting Carmen to be late. I didn't know why. The boys my mom would take me on supervised dates wit-

My train of thought was interrupted by Carmen's bright smile and a wave from the other side of the café.

I made my way over to my girlfriend. Those words helped me to calm down just by thinking them.

She pulled out my chair and helped me to sit.

She probably didn't think twice, but I did.

"Well, this is unnecessarily awkward," I laugh.

"Yeah. Why can't we talk like normal people? We've been together what, three months?"

"Yeah man, I guess we just aren't that proficient."

She throws back her head in laughter. It wasn't that funny, so I don't see why.

Still, it was nice to have someone think I was funny.

Mom never did.

I used to think that love broke and burned and hurt.

I know better now.

On that Wednesday in a café, I started to heal.

I started to begin again.

We told stories, like one of my first crush when I played softball as a little kid. It was before my mom had met my stepdad. It was one of my last good memories of my childhood.

"Why are you so shy all of a sudden?" Carmen asked with a playful flick to the arm.

"I've no clue, honestly."

She threw her head back and laughed again.

I thought it was strange again.

I'd been told that love only broke and burned and ended.

But on Wednesday, in that chain café, I began again.

On the walk back to my car, I was tempted to say thank you.

Thank you for not being my mother.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for showing me what love is.

She distracted me, though, by talking about what Player's family was doing for Christmas and that they'd been working on legally adopting her.

And I wanna talk about that.

For once, I left the past behind.

On that Wednesday in a café, I started to heal.

I began again.


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> worm sounds are pasta

_Julia_

I sat on the bleachers as I sipped the macchiato in my hand. I cheered Ivy on as she played. I knew next to nothing about volleyball besides that there were no stakes to this game.

"Hey Jules," Carmen greeted, planting a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Hey Carmen," I answered absentmindedly, checking my phone.

_James: can we come up to the school? zack's wanting to drive aomwhere_

_Me: James I am at Project Grad no you cannot come up to the school._

"They're serving crawfish out there," Carmen whispered.

"Let's wait 'till Ivy's game is over. Shouldn't be too much longer. They're playing to 15."

I pointed at the scoreboard.

I was right. The game was over about five minutes later.

"Let's go get some crawfish!" I exclaimed.

"Woo yeah!"

I suffered through the burning pain in my mouth for the sake of eating a potato as though it were an apple.

Carmen looked at me bemusedly before trying it herself.

"Wait, too spicy!" Carmen exclaimed immediately, fanning her mouth.

I laughed.

"Y'know Carm, with how long you've been living here, you should be used to spicy things," Ivy joked before sliding her a glass of water.

"Don't lick your lips," I murmured a little too knowingly.

"Also, I wouldn't advise makin' out in the bathroom for at least an hour!" Ivy called.

I flipped her off.

The rest of the night was just Ivy teasing Carmen and my eventual joining in.

It felt good.

I was finally clean.


End file.
